The Fool’s Day.
Art : Delilah.
By Sakuan.
I have to say this because if I don’t then I will probably never think or say it ever again, I have things that I am trying right now. I have yet to learn something new about myself I have to be strong to accomplish whatever it is that I think I can accomplish, to you that might sound just about right but to me, it has always been a struggle. I have tried a lot of things, and I have even thought about trying new things more than I have actually done them, I assume that goes for most people, people who think of what they can do and never actually do or even try. The problem always comes down to that specifically always thinking of trying but never actually trying, I have thought about doing things, I have thought about becoming things and yet I didn’t even try to accomplish any of those thoughts, in hindsight I was scared and so would anyone who is like me, I am a complicated person and so is everyone else in their own way, I understand that. The way I looked at things back then was different than how I look at things today, I used to want to do everything fast, I used to be impatient, I wanted to learn fast and apply what I had learned within a few hours, little did I know that is now how the brain works, you can’t force feed your brain a lot of information at once and expect it to retain and apply everything it just learned within a few hours, of course, some things can be learned and applied but not necessarily if you know what I mean. Your brain needs time to relax, learning a new thing for six hours straight and then trying to apply everything you’ve learned on the same day can be exhausting and heartbreaking, at least for me it was, and that is what I used to do. Recently I have taught myself to take breaks between learning, especially when it is something new, and to be honest, I have been having so much fun learning this way as compared to when I used to consume all new information for long periods of time and to the point where I got headaches during some of those sessions. Today I take a different approach to the way I learn new things, especially new skills. I might sit down for thirty minutes to an hour learning a concept and take a break that usually lasts a few hours or I would come back the next day and then put in the same amount of time and keep on learning, and I’ve realized it is not as frustrating and annoying as it was before because I figured my brain had time to relax and ingest all the new information I had given it. I used to have this mindset of hurrying my learning process because I felt like I was behind, and the result was always the same for the most part, I would quit doing the thing altogether because I didn’t feel like I learned anything after the long sessions or I would get a headache and tell myself maybe this type of thing wasn’t meant for me, but now after every session, I feel like I come out knowing and most importantly understanding more than I did before, and that is a great thing to behold, I never thought in a million years that I would ever feel this way because I always hated the thought of school, now not so much, don’t get me wrong the feeling is still there but it is not as profound as it was before because now I understand how I am.
I was once a fool and now I am a lesser fool.
Currently reading [Women by Charles Bukowski]
