WHATEVER COMES TO MIND.
Art : CHIMERA.
By Sakuan.
This is Jed, cool name huh? People tell me it is and when I say people I mean people who have heard other people call me Jed, they think it is a cool name, personally, I don’t think anything about the name because that is all I have known, all my life people have called me Jed, well because my birth name is Jed. Enough with the yap, here is a little something.
Today I woke up feeling like a million bucks, in other words, I woke up feeling great, I know people who never get the feeling and I can only imagine how brutal that can be to the soul. There have been times when I didn’t even feel like getting out of bed, but somehow here I am today still trying my best to keep my spirits high, of course, I still have things that keep me down from time to time but for the most part, I am great, I feel accomplished especially when I am done with a personal project that means something to me, I think we all need to have one of those, we all need to have that one thing that keeps us grounded no matter what the situation, for me that is making art, for you, it might be something as simple as taking a walk, I enjoy those too.
Despite all that positive talk, there is still one thing that stresses me out and that is the fact that I haven’t figured out how to capitalize on my work financially. I could get a job and just be done with it, but that is easy, I don’t find that satisfying at all, it doesn’t feel like an achievement to me for some reason, maybe it is because that is what we are expected to do when we grow up, get a job and pay bills, lots of people can say they did that but not a lot of people can say I made something that started as an imagination into a successful career, now that is what I would call an achievement. Getting a job is the easiest part of it all, I hope to be able to live off what I love someday, just to show myself that I can and of course, to show other people that it is possible despite all their dirty looks when they see me dream or their smirks when I tell them my dream, I know I can do it, even a dollar can make another dollar, and once I know how to get my hands on a dollar I can take that to two dollars, then three dollars, then maybe take it up to a million, I know it is possible because there are people out there who have already done that, I know I am talking about money here but that is not the point, and even if it was, the dollar has surely proven to be helpful to them in one way or another.
Living in poverty, or living without has to be one of the most annoying and terrifying things in the world because, at the back of your head, you keep thinking that you have to do things that you don’t necessarily have to do in order to get to where you want to go and that is one of the things that I don’t appreciate about being poor, when I feel like I have to do something that I don’t want to do in order to get an outcome that I think I deserve is preposterous, being on the end of that is never a good place to be at no matter who you are or who you think you are. Life can come at you quick or slow, some people have to try hard and others barely even reach the start line and somehow they have already finished the race in your eyes, what you value is important, and what you value most determines the type of person you are, sometimes you have a say in it and most of the times you don’t, we are communal beings meaning we can’t survive alone you can only control what you can do, but when it comes to other people, well all you can do is hope and faith, I think stoicism is the concept.
Currently reading [Women by Charles Bukowski]
