THIS LOVE OF OURS.
Art : Love and Chaos.
By Sakuan.
Jon: Today was the day everything was supposed to be perfect between us, why do we do this to each other every single time? I’m tired of her, I’m tired of your mother telling us how we should live our lives, It is time to move on, if this keeps on going I’ll leave, I swear I will, because I can’t bear it anymore my love.
Mary: I don’t know what to say, babe, what do you want me to say I love both of you and I know she can be hard at times but that is who she is. I can’t abandon her, she is my mother and she is looking out for me, all she knows about you is the fact that you get into trouble a lot, and considering that I’m literally stitching your hand right now, she is right. I do get you, she doesn’t and I’m here with you right now and not with her, what more can I do to prove that my love for you is stronger than her misunderstanding of who you are? Of who WE are?
Jon: fair point my love, I guess I’m just stressed, I’ve been going through a lot lately with my father’s death, he meant a lot to me. He passed before he could enjoy the fruits of his labor, I’m a failure, my dad never got to experience life as he should have, a financially free man, all his life, he lived check to check, buried in debts. Even with that turmoil, he still made sure me and my brothers had it all. He made sure we had all we’ve ever needed, what more can a son ask for?
Mary: I’m always here for you, tik tok, only time can separate us through death. Even after flesh our spirits and souls will forever belong to each other forever and ever, you belong to me as I to you and that is all that matters, they don’t get us, they don’t get what we are, they don’t get what we could be. Even the people close to us don’t get us, only we get us so let us not let those without come between those with my love. You’re not a failure, life is just complicated, and add blood to that it even gets scarier, your father loved you and him sacrificing everything for you and your siblings are the whole point of being a father. You’re lucky you got to know yours, I never met mine, and that hurt a lot, but you were always there for me, I’ll always be here for you. You cherished every moment you had with him, you gave him all the love a son could ever provide to his father and he reciprocated that, if he were here he would still be proud of you for trying your best to get out of poverty. Time is the cure for that, we don’t get to decide what happens tomorrow, we only have the privilege to decide what happens now… come here.
(Jon’s tears glues their top lips together as they kiss)
……
ADDICTS OF US/ WHAT DO WE CALL THIS?
HIM
We laugh together, we cry together, she has the voice of an angel. When she sings, it’s the most magical thing you’ll ever hear, I find everything she says pleasing, all I want is to do good by her, I can’t explain this feeling, I’ve heard some call it LOVE, we don’t have a staple name for it yet. I’m addicted to her and so is she to me, we are addicts of US. She challenges me in ways that improve who I am as a person, I hope she feels the same way with me. She tells me she does, there is nothing else I can do about that but offer her the devil himself, counter-productive you might think but no, for us to keep on belonging I must offer her the devil and his name is TRUST. Every time she melts in my arms I get lost in her beautiful eyes and my lips get lost in hers. We have never said the words “ I LOVE YOU” to each other out loud, but we know we do. One can love a cat, one can love a dog, one can love a car, one can love a RING, one can love their job, so this feeling we have for each other can’t be LOVE, she is more than everything I’ve ever “loved”. I am her most prized possession, so she tells me, and every time she says I’m hers I fall deeper and deeper into this addiction some call LOVE. She believes in what I do, she says we are going to make it big someday, I believe her. She is my inspiration, a MUSE if you will.
I was once scared to invite people into my life, you told me I should be a little bit open-minded no matter what I had gone through in the past. You told me no matter how it is I should always give life a chance and I did, I will forever be grateful for that. After so many betrayals from human beings you gave me hope that there are decent people out there, thank you for that. I had told myself I was done with belonging to other people after my last heartbreak, you came to the rescue, now I know what this is all about, you helped me realize that. You showed me everything that we should do to make this last, at first I was skeptical but then you were right, there are many secrets we share that make this relationship last, one secret that I never thought would work but works so well is when you told me that we should never ever go to bed mad at each other, so far it’s worked like a charm. Thank you for saving me, the only way I can repay you is by offering you ME, with all my heart, soul, and body I’ll forever be yours.
HER
He is the reason we are US, what we have isn’t LOVE, it’s more than that. We should call it art, I proposed this to him and he liked it, but we still don’t use that word either because we don’t want to define what we have, once we do then we are confined to that definition, and who likes prison? Not me. Not everything has to be defined, some things are better left off the way they are. The way we express ourselves to each other is beautiful, he loves it when I sing to him, he praises me every time I pleasure his ears with my “vocal genius” as he calls it, yes it’s a gift, but what is a gift good for if it isn’t expressed, and that is exactly what he did to me. He always encourages me to sing and I fall deep and deep in this addiction we call “art” every time he stares deep in my soul as I open my mouth and fill the air with my “vocal genius”. We can’t get enough of each other, this addiction we have towards each other is the most beautiful experience one can ever wish for. HE is my only addiction, he is the drug of my choice, he would do anything for me, the other day he told me he would kill for me, I hope it never comes to that but I have to admit, him saying that really warmed my heart. I didn’t think I was the type to care for attention, all I am trying to say is that when someone pays you mind it really feels good, and I am glad to be his everything, the feeling is mutual as he is my everything, how can this thing they call love be blind and feel this right at the same time?
You gave me a sense of belonging, before you I never thought I belonged anywhere in this order we call a society. I used to think I was an outcast, a misfit if you may. You told me I wasn’t, you said it was all in my head, as is everything else, it’s how you act after having these thoughts that matter, you taught me that. I used to think having all these negative thoughts made me a bad person, you told me I was not my thoughts, you said I only become my thoughts when I act on them, so I should be careful and consider my actions thoroughly before I act after I have any thought, good or bad. That helped me a lot and I will forever be thankful, the only way I can ever repay you is to offer you ME, with all my heart, soul, and body, I’m all yours.
WE
We are undefeated together, we belong together, of course, we have fights at times but conflict is normal when you live with someone. There is one thing we promised each other, “we will never go to bed angry at each other, any conflict has to be resolved before we go to bed.” It has been about seven years now and that agreement is yet to be broken.
He makes me feel good
She makes me feel good
He knows what I like
She knows what I like
He knows how I like it
She knows how I like it
He knows the right words to my heart
She knows the right words to my heart
He gets me
She gets me
We get us
She is the reason I AM
He is the reason I AM
WE cry together
WE laugh together
I’m a writer
She’s a singer
I don’t judge her
She doesn’t judge me
They can’t judge us, Only God can judge us
We are not defined, this isn’t a prison, we are nothing but each other’s addictions.
Currently reading [God is Not One by Stephen Prothero]
