Thoughts from a scrambled mind.
Art : Poor Me.
By Sakuan.
My name is Thoven, lately I’ve been going through something, I’ve been chasing a dream of mine and in the process, I had to ask myself, why am I doing this, and the thoughts that popped up in my head I had to put them in my diary. I am not my thoughts, I am my actions, with that being said, I present my thoughts in this diary of mine to you.
FEELING DOWN.
‘Mood swings’, some call it. Not feeling it. This is not how I’m supposed to be feeling. Why do I feel down so much these days, maybe my age has something to do with it, ah, stress, there you go. I do everything I can, why can’t everything go my way? Look at it this way, if something goes bad your way that means the outcome could and in most cases is someone else’s good, you getting sick is how a doctor is getting paid, as bad as it looks, these are the laws of nature, your good is my bad and my bad is your good. Two teams playing a game, one team loses and the other wins, for one team to experience a ‘good’ the other team has to experience a ‘bad’.
I know sometimes it hurts when things don’t go your way, is it okay to feel down? For starters, it is a natural feeling but is it okay to suppress that feeling? You all do, so who am I not to try to, I am me at the end of the day, a piece of flesh with thoughts and emotions, that is what we do, we suppress what we don’t like and encourage what makes us happy. We tell ourselves, maybe stop thinking about it and it will all go away, won’t that be something?
People around you seeing you as a failure, or maybe they don’t even have such thoughts or feel that way about you, but you see yourself as a failure so you project your feelings to those around you because “why would they not feel the same way as you do about myself?” It is a sad feeling, tragic at times, but what can you do but keep doing what you must, keep doing what keeps you alive, keep doing what you “LOVE”? Chasing the fruits of your passion, there are times when the cycle of poverty keeps recurring from generation to generation, so why not quit? Maybe it is because at this point you are struck by the sunk fallacy, and that is okay because what else can you do if not this, if not what you “LOVE”? Maybe work for somebody else, helping them live their dreams, what about my dreams, why do my dreams have to turn to nightmares while theirs remain peaceful dreams, I want to be like them, can I strive to live out my dreams too, is that okay with you? Chasing my dream might be a lost cause, but as I said what else can I do? Help me understand the laws of nature, as knowledgeable as you profess to be, no explanation about life is ever enough or satisfactory, and that statement in itself is also, “LIFE”
“ Get rich or die trying.” By 50 cent.
I’d rather keep on working on this dream of mine and if it falls in the end at least I can live to say I tried my best, and just like some people are born in chaotic places and/or generations/eras, some people work hard for generations without luck ever striking their way. So I’ll keep on trying, that way at least I’ll go knowing I tried my best and I have something to show for my time here on earth, a time that I’m thankful for, and always will be…
That leads me to…
GENERATIONAL WEALTH.
Wealth left for your future children and their children and their children’s children. I think that is commendable, with that being said I still have my thoughts on this topic. These are just but thoughts, I am not my thoughts, my thoughts are subject to change in the future if I come to learn or experience something new, don’t hang me for my thoughts rather you can do that for my actions.
I have a thought or two about this topic. Generational wealth. It seems like most of us are striving for this, rightfully so but it still has me wondering. Our ancestors at one point in time felt the same way most of us do today (working as hard as we can to leave wealth for our children and our children’s children) and just by the laws of nature I assume some were successful in doing it and some not so lucky, right? It has to be. People sacrifice a huge chunk of their lives to get an income that would last for generations. At least that is what we say to ourselves to justify us chasing our dreams, that is what we say to justify always working and spending less time with our loved ones, “I’m doing this for you”, “I’m doing this for this family”.
In a sense you are being a martyr for a cause you believe in and who am I to judge you and all those like you, you all have the right mindset. However how sure are you that the people you leave all your wealth to are going to appreciate it or use it for good? Your children might appreciate your wealth more because they experienced the sacrifice firsthand through you, and that is assuming they understand your sacrifices and not blame you for not being there when they were growing up, even with that experience they will never understand the sacrifice you made to the extent that you do because it was your sacrifice and not theirs. So as you go down your generation, your riches and wealth are bound to deplete and they are going to until the cycle starts all over again.
At that point was your sacrifice worth it? I guess so because it might last for a couple of generations and that is assuming you left a lot.
Generating wealth for people you will never know, the only thing you have in common with them is the fact that they are family, you are bonded in blood with them. Most of us today don’t even know our great grandparents let alone our great great grandparents. So why would you sacrifice that much for strangers? The way I think we should do it and get the fruits of both sides (Enjoying life in all aspects to the fullest and working hard to leave something for your blood) is you should work hard and sacrifice for your children and the period of our lifespan (100 years) allows for you to do that and still enjoy life doing the things you want to do. If you do a good job raising your children then they should do the same thing you did for their children, their children’s wealth and riches should be their responsibility. You also have some responsibilities for your grandchildren, only to some extent of course because you’ll get to see your grandchildren and get to know them and maybe have a hand in raising them.
Maybe I am not making any sense to you right now, but you see where I am coming from, these thoughts linger in my head all night long, it was either I let them die in my sleep or let them live on forever in this diary of mine.
ARE YOU WILLING?
Speaking of all your hard work and why you do it, are you willing to protect the fruits of your labor at any cost? With your life, if you must? The question is blunt and straightforward, and also requires a lot of thinking, do you believe you deserve to be in the position of success? Some people are willing to kill or sacrifice their moral standards to get to success, and who am I to judge them, who am I to tell them they are in the wrong and I am in the right, morality to some extent is a social construct, so who is to say that the social construct we have in this society is the right one? I understand it is the best we can do and we will keep on improving as time goes by, but let me remind you why morality is a social construct to some extent, remember slavery, there was a point in time when it was okay to sell and buy other human beings blatantly and might I add, legally.
Are you willing to die for yours? Are you willing to die for what you believe in, are you willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want in life? Are you willing to die for what you worked so hard for? Are you willing to defend the ones you love with your life if push comes to shove? If you aren’t, is that such a bad thing, if you are not willing to do all that does that mean you don’t want IT hard enough? Am I considered weak if I value my life more than anything else when it comes to compromising life itself for personal “gain”? Way back in the day people used to fight in the name of honor, today not so much, is that such a bad thing? Does that mean we grew weak or does it mean we became smart enough to value our lives more than a title another human being might give us? We are animals and it is always survival for the fittest, you’d think that notion is something that died with the old times, but no, look at the wars that are going on in the world today. It is all about survival for the fittest, and the saddest thing about it all is that the people who have nothing to do with these political wars always get it the worst and that is the POOR.
Within every war the people that end up hurting and suffering the most are the poor, anything that the government does, good or bad, always affects the poor the most. When famine strikes the people that die first are the poor, and the cycle never seems to end, the poor always get the short end of the stick when it comes to life. Any changes that the government proposes always affect the poor most, I can’t stress that enough.
THOUGHTS FROM THOVEN.
Currently reading [God is Not One by Stephen Prothero]
