Confidence.

Hi there it’s me again this week I thought I would just bring up the thought of confidence and maybe arrogance, just maybe. So recently I just started feeling good about myself, like my confidence just went up a lot for some reason, and as I write this I’m still trying to figure that out. The only change I’ve had in the recent past is… I don’t really know but all I know is I started writing every day on march 2nd 2021, maybe that helped me somehow, but I also have other theories. Ok so since I was three years old this is the longest I’ve taken a break from school, in short since I was three years old I never took a break from school for more than three months. Let me break it down just so you can understand what I mean, as you know I was born and raised in Kenya, and schools over there work differently than over here in America. So from when I was 3 years old to 18 years old, I never took a break from school that was more than a month, that’s how the system is set, we went to school from January to march then took April off, then three more months in school, then one month break and so on, so the cycle only allowed a month break and in some of those breaks we were required to still attend school for “tuition” as we called it. Fast forward I’m in America and for the first time, I was able to take a three-month break after a school year. Why is this the longest break for me now you might ask, well it’s because I graduated last year and I’ve been figuring out my life during this time, just how helpful was this break, well I figured I wanted to make art my career so I started drawing every day and that decision was made on the 2nd of April 2020. During that year break I also figured out I liked writing so I decided I would write a blog post every week, and that’s what this is, today is 4/24/2021 and this is this weeks ‘blog’ which is just my thoughts. As for writing every day well, I also write short stories, and every day I make sure I write a piece of idea for the stories. I think this helped brought out my confidence because for the first time in my life I feel like I own something, I feel like I’m about something, I feel like I have something to show for my existence in this life as compared to back when I used to be what I thought was “depression” bothering me, maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t, I’m not a doctor, I doubt it was depression though. When I think about it back then I didn’t have something and this made me feel like a nobody ad that was sad, but now I have something to show, something that can justify my existence.

“Sam, what are you about, justify your existence?”

If someone poses that query to me, I can finally lead them to my website, even though it’s a small thing, IT’S MY SMALL THING.