I KEEP WONDERING…
ART : SEE, I WORRY.
By Sakuan.
No need to give you my name, I can be whatever you name me, I do not care anymore, you are going to judge me anyway. Here are my thoughts do whatever it is you want to do with them, I give you my full permission. These are just thoughts, so please take them with a grain of salt or not.
You were warned, proceed with caution. Read at your own risk. I think taking risks is a good thing, or so I was always told.
…
How can it be this powerful? Are we the ones giving it power or is it how it is supposed to naturally be? I wonder. I have heard of sex destroying nations, I have heard sex be the demise of powerful people, I know sex to be one of the most sorted-after things in the world. Sex, why do we need you so much? Sex is magical, or so they say, it is why we are here, I know that to be a fact. Sex is the only action that we have agreed as a society to represent your exclusivity to another person. How did we come to this conclusion? I wonder.
Having consensual sex with someone shows that you have some form of trust towards this person, whether you met them a few hours prior or a few years, trust is the most important thing, I value it higher than love because without trust there is no love. Before you have sex with someone trust comes first, and when that trust is betrayed then we get cases where a nation falls apart, then we get people falling apart, then we get deaths and unnecessary suffering. This leads me to a period where everything tends to go into shambles.
The pillow talk period. This is the period where there is vulnerability between two people, this is the period where things are said in secrecy because one party trusts the other party enough to open up. Pillow talk is a conversation had mainly because of sex and I can only imagine the number of families and countries that are broken during pillow talk. Placing your trust in someone because you are fond of them, and the emotional pleasure you get from them makes you trust them even more.
The wonder of sexual intercourse controls us from a young age. In your teen years, losing your virginity is a big deal, people get shamed if they haven’t, especially when you are in high school, it is cool to lose it especially if you are a boy, the skill of talking and impressing someone you are interested in sexually is respected amongst your peers, regardless of the age group you land in. You are a teenager your friends and peers will make fun of you for being a virgin, when you are in college figuring out your life and having a sex partner is what most of us seek, when you are ready to start a family you will need someone to start it with so you have to care about sex, it is all wrapped around sex. At least these are my thoughts right now, the more I live the more I will find out and the more I will enhance my thinking cap, the more words I will have, and the better meanings to my thoughts I will have. Bear with me for I am also learning.
I hope my words don’t bother you, I hope you feel better after reading what I wrote, I know I have, maybe this is therapy for me, I will forever be grateful for I know how to express my feeling through words. My actions are more important than my thoughts so I beg you please judge my actions and not my thought, I will forever keep on saying this because I know it will save my life, literally and figuratively. I still have lots of questions about life and the more time I spend in this world the more answers I will get and the more questions will come my way. I am sorry because I don’t have a name to give you, I can’t tell you my name because I am not comfortable with sharing that information with a stranger, and I believe if you really wanted to know my name then you will.
Yours truly, bye…
Currently reading [Women by Charles Bukowski]
