Matter?
Art : Stones.
By Sakuan.
Sakuan do you matter? I asked myself this question last night, today is 10/22/2021. I really sat there and thought about this question for minutes and this is what I came up with. Does the “great” Sakuan matter? I believe I do matter because if I didn’t then I don’t believe I would be alive today, I probably would have killed myself I didn’t believe I mattered, what would’ve been the point then, just a waste of resources and space. There was a point in my life where I felt that, just another waste of resources and space. I had to figure something out, try something out, something that I cared about and I’m glad I did before it was too late. I matter because what I do helped me come out of a dark place and I know I’m not alone, there’s somebody out there who was or is like me, and if my story helps them in any way then I truly matter. So yes, Sakuan believes he matters and it’s not because I was told I mattered or told I was just fine the way I was. I didn’t wait for people to tell me I mattered or was fine the way I was, I had to dig deep in within me and find out for myself why I mattered, nobody is perfect there’s always room for improvement so you’re not fine the way you are, you can always improve.
Ok, we’ve established that you matter Sakuan, but the other real question is, does your work matter, really matter… I think the same thought applies, but there’s an in-depth explanation for this. I believe my work (art and writings) matter because it saved a life, metaphorically of course but in a literal sense it’s not that farfetched, saved my life. What’s more important than a life, a life has no price, at least that would be the ideal concept, but it isn’t, because there still exist some communities where slavery is a thing, but that’s a topic for another day. My work means a lot to me so it matters to me, and I know I’m not that unique, there are people out there, people like me and I believe if my work was to reach out to them it would matter to them too, so yeah, my work matters. Was that the intention in the first place? Was the intention for your work to matter to other people? Not really, I did this to get out of a dark hole, a hole that I’m still doing my best to get out of, so far so good. Life is precious, and I don’t say this lightly because I believe there are people out there who go through things that show them life is everything but precious, and can you blame them? Sometimes tragedy strikes the most innocent and nice people without a reason or warning, and that’s not fair but what are you going to do, you can’t blame anybody or anything because in a lot of these cases there’s nothing to blame, such a sad reality.
Why even matter in the first place, why should what you do even matter? “Don’t underestimate the hole your absence would leave,” that’s a good quote that strikes my brain every time I dare question my so-called “purpose” on earth, a quote from Dr. Jordan Peterson. Sometimes we feel like we don’t matter, but that would be selfish in my opinion because there’s something positive you could always do that the next person can’t or isn’t able to. It could be something as small as holding the door for someone, maybe that person you held the door for had lost all faith in humanity because of personal tragedies caused by human beings, and that little action of holding the door might just be the thing that starts restoring their faith in humanity, and that’s a wonderful thing. The number of hearts you’ve healed and the amount of hearts you’ve broken, you couldn’t even fathom and all it takes could be as little as looking into someone’s eyes while waiting in line to get your coffee at a Starbucks. The reaction in that scenario could be:
“Finally someone whose eyes aren’t glued to their cell phone, there are still good humans out there, a reason to smile,” or “Oh my God why are they looking deep in my eyes, why are they all up in my business, people don’t mind their business these days, always meddling in other people’s businesses, why do humans like these exist? Can’t wait to get my coffee and get the hell out of here, Jesus, some people don’t need to exist.”
In that one scenario you’ve warmed a heart and maybe broken one without even opening your mouth, what if life wasn’t as complicated, I WONDER.
