Talking.
Art : Standing Faceless.
By Sakuan.
Talking.
It’s hard for me and I assume it is for other people too, talking, as simple as that sounds, I think it’s an intricate situation for most. Not a lot of people can do it effectively to the point where they offend nobody let alone themselves. Stress inflicted through lack of communication; stress inflicted through over communication, is something that a lot of people fall victim to.
“Masculinity” has messed this up for a lot of people and I’m not exempt from that. Since I was young, I never found it comforting or thought it helpful to open up about my life, maybe it’s a cultural thing or maybe it’s just who I am, highly likely a cultural thing in my opinion because there a lot of people who come from where I come from who think the same way that I do when it comes to talking about your “weaknesses”. The term weakness rubs me the wrong way mainly because it’s a natural thing but as men, in most cultures, we are nurtured to believe this is something we aren’t allowed to have or be (weak).
Makes you wonder, is that a good reason or an excuse to be a bad communicator? “It’s just who I am, or this is how we do things where I come from? (meaning culture on the latter)” A lot of people seek sympathy for something they did wrong or something they did that in their eyes seemed right but is wrong in society’s eyes expecting the society to give a response like, “oh, sure, I’ll accept you for who you are, I’ll fully accept and respect your culture for what it is.”
What if, who you are or what you belong in is the problem, then what do you do at that point. That’s why I try my best these days to do better and not be blinded by, “who I am” or “how we do things where I come from.” One of the hardest things in particular for me was, or should I say IS because I’m still working on it. Asking for help with anything, small, big, financially, emotionally, or socially, is one of my biggest weaknesses. It’s always the guilt that gets me, there’s this condescending voice in my head that tells me, “if you can’t handle it, what makes you think someone else can when you know yourself better than anybody else does.” To be fair thought’s reasoning makes a lot of sense but, I’ve come to realize that’s not how humans are wired, some things happen to you and you’re not that unique of a specimen that the thing only happened to you, asking for help is asking for an option of what the next person did when they encountered the same thing you just encountered, and there’s no shame in that, I still struggle with that part, shame, shame, shame, it makes me sad but at the end of the day, it is what it is, we live and we learn. That’s why we read books, that’s why I read books, that’s why we go to school, that’s why I went to school, that’s why we watch documentaries, that’s why I watch documentaries, that’s why we strive to be better by learning from other people’s mistakes, that’s why I strive to be better by learning from other people’s mistakes. Mistakes are not unique to you, and even if it feels like they are sometimes, it’s all relative, at least that’s what I think.
Belief.
The belief that you are worth it. The belief that you matter to those close to you. The belief that they care about you, the belief that you care about them, the belief that what you believe is right, the belief that your beliefs are worth. The lack of empathy to see the point of the other side, the torture of hate, the torture of love, the torture of faith, the belief of faith, the belief of good and evil, the belief of right and wrong. “I trusted in you, and you broke my trust,” trust is respect, when you don’t respect someone or something there is no trust in there. This thought brings me to friendship, what is it and why do we need it, these are worries that keep me up at night, worries that are brought by lack of insight, worries brought by my beliefs which I came to have because of experiences I’ve been in, experiences I had no choice but to have them, both positive and negative. Empathy and cutting people off completely, these two concepts are thought-provoking and confusing at times. When do you say enough is enough and cut people from your life and when do you empathize with them because they might be going through something? Do you go with the thought of, “I get why they did that thing, maybe it’s because they had a bad day,” or do you go with the thought of, “don’t make your bad day my bad day, I don’t have time for this.” Is there a line? And if so, I wonder what the parameters are, I wonder.
Influence.
Influence, influence. Probably one of the greatest concepts in human existence and of their experience. Influence can lead you to different paths in life, it decides whether you’ll be a Christian, a Muslim, or any other religion that exists in the world. Influence will determine the type of person you’ll become, the type of person you are at this second, influence will determine the type of person you will NOT become, the type of person you are NOT at this second. Influence will determine how a country is ruled, how you or a country will treat other people who don’t share your beliefs, it also determines how people will treat you or your country.
The term influencer comes to mind just about right now.
This word is scary to me, the concept of it is scary, and I think it should be to anyone out there who takes themselves seriously, through actions and not just through talk. Popular kids on the internet who are still trying to figure out their own lives are given the burden of leading another group of kids who watch them, they’re being called influencers, to an extent it’s the blind leading the blind. They end up influencing damaging mentalities to other kids with quotes like, “you are fine the way you are,” or “don’t listen to the haters,” I have to admit at a young age it’s hard to distinguish between good criticism that’ll help you grow, and hate, in both and in most cases in your eyes it’s somebody coming after you. When your older friend tells you, you should reconsider posting nude pictures of yourself on Onlyfans, to a young successful mind on that platform, they might take it as you hating on them because you are not as successful as they are. To them all you’re trying to do is stop them from being successful. Brings me to the thought I always stress, “Just because it makes money and it’s not against the law it doesn’t make it right.
The fact that people gladly take that “influencer” title without questioning its merits is disturbing. In my opinion, and maybe my opinions will change in the future, that’s the last thing I would want to be and it’s not because I don’t want supporters or followers, it’s not because I’m scared to be in the public eye, the main reason is quite sad in a sense depending on which ear my reasoning lands on, the main reason is because I ask myself WHO AM I for other people to support me, follow me, and/or listen to me, what makes me right, what makes me worth it, NOTHING is what I tell myself, I guess “you are fine the way you are” would help me just about now, but I can’t take that “advice” because “you are fine the way you are” is not a true statement.
When I tell people to strive for greater lives and be good to each other, who’s to say my definition of good is their definition of good, who’s to say the perspective I share with them is the right one. In our society today perspective comes down to sides, this is rather sad as each side goes into a deep struggle just to prove that their side is right, and the other side is wrong, what are we doing? My understanding is, if the other side is as bad as you claim, then by definition they all should be put in jail because the things YOU accuse them of are brutal and if the accusations are true then they deserve time in prison.
One good example is abortion, when one side defines abortion as taking a human life and the other side is fighting for the legalization of it, then…
Currently reading [God is Not One by Stephen Prothero]
